Greg McNafferson ([info]mcnafferson) wrote,
@ 2003-01-24 12:02:00
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Seven Fridays a week
While our traditional holiday season starts on Christmas (December 25) and ends on New Year, Russians start celebration on New Year and try to end on Christmas (January 7). When I say that they *try* to lose the holiday spirit, I don't mean that they can't get over the absolutely fantastic huge enormous quantities of vodka coursing through human bodies during the holidays. Well, actually, that's yet another reason. But here's the real explanation.

Russian authorities are well aware that people are not going to start working after a week of drinking alcohol. So they've found a brilliant solution in the usual yet original Russian fashion. Brace yourself for this.

They made up an additional holiday on the January 13. It is called (I hope you're ready for this) Old New Year! On this day, people celebrate New Year as if they still have the calendar that was effective a few centuries ago.

Now look, it takes a day to stand in a long line to buy drinks for a holiday, at least a day to celebrate and a day to battle with the hangover (unsuccessfully). So if a holiday falls on a weekday, people usually don’t come to work the day before and the day after. Well, the government found a clever solution to this situation as well.

They've decided (I hope you can handle this) to rearrange the days of the week! For example if the holiday is on a Wednesday (like New Year was this year), they switch Saturday and Sunday to Thursday and Friday and backwards. So people can have three days to celebrate and then work from Saturday through Sunday for 7 days straight. They play the same tricks with Constitution day, May holidays and so on. I guess that's why they have this saying "Seven Fridays a week".

Have you ever heard anything like this?



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(Anonymous)
2003-01-27 01:32 am UTC (link)
Yeah, well, at least we don't have Halloween. I always found it strange that Americans wildly celebrate all that is evil, wicked, gruesome or just plain bad on Halloween night, while completely forgetting to celebrate all that is good and nice on All Saints Day that follows. I'll be merciful this time and won't jump to any conclusions about your country.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


(Anonymous)
2003-03-25 11:07 am UTC (link)
how about Good Friday, another stupid holiday. People suppose to stay sobber all day, and to help them to do so, all shops do not sell any alcohol. But smart arsses buy all the drink day before that and buy quite a lot of it, so it would be enougth for weekends too. So how this kind of people can critisize russian for anything.

Apparently this mcnafferson (looks irish, does anyone know how much irish drink?) is just an idiot, if he is a real person.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-02-18 04:26 pm UTC
Americans Are Stupid - [info]wilcorees, 2008-04-23 06:57 pm UTC
Re: Americans Are Stupid - [info]mcnafferson, 2008-04-24 08:13 pm UTC
Seven Fridays a week
(Anonymous)
2003-01-31 11:26 am UTC (link)
Seven Fridays a week has nothing to do with shuffling work schedules. You say it to a person who can't make up their mind and contradicts him/herself on different occasions, or changes his/her mind often. Then you say: you have seven fridays a week

(Reply to this)


[info]deita
2003-02-10 10:26 pm UTC (link)
why did you leave? do you speak the language? what city are you at? do tell please. very interested.

(Reply to this)

We call if "I joke and laugh myself"
(Anonymous)
2003-02-16 07:08 pm UTC (link)
This was made for people not because the entire nation consists of drunks and slackers. Most of us work hard and we find it convenient if you have a few holidays in a row and don`t have to work one day between them.

If you are hysterically laughing and making fun of Russian traditions and customs then why the hell did you leave your "perfect" country for Russia

Nash

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: We call if "I joke and laugh myself"
[info]devlet0201
2003-03-21 05:16 am UTC (link)
You caugth it! The only perfect and oldest one russian tradition is a hangover, you know. Three days in a row makes it much more easy, yeah!!!! Thats the reason.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Go home
(Anonymous)
2003-02-16 07:49 pm UTC (link)
I don`t understand how you can possibly write anything about Russia if you know nothing about it.
the famous russian writer Leo Tolstoy died in 1910 and every kid in Russia knows it... this is so miserable of you americans...
all you can is fabricate shit about stuff that you don`t even know...

I wrote a comment on your site in my livejournal (http://www.diary.ru/journal.php?userid=2446&year=2003&month=2&day=17#post60542 - you can ask your russian friends to translate it for you.... and that is if you have any)

and here`s a helpful link for you and your non-smart friends who don`t even know where the biggest country in the world is located

http://www.repetitor.org/materials/tolstoy1.html - here your friends can read about Leo Tolstoy (I used to think that he was not only RUSSIAN FAMOUS WRITER, and as far as I know a lot of people all around the world READ not HEARD his "War and Peace" and "Anna Karenina" unlike you and people who read your stuff on Russia)

sorry if it sounds angry, but this is all what russian people can feel reading your site... i really don`t understand what you are doing here in Russia if you hate it so much to put this shit on the internet so that it would sound like first-hand truth about this country

Nash

(Reply to this)

BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!! lol
(Anonymous)
2003-02-16 09:35 pm UTC (link)
Do you actually know what the word BABOUSHKA means? it`s a Granny....
you are writing such bullshit... stupid americans.... LMFAO.....

Dusya and the Mafia
“I quickly got dressed, put on make-up (a true Russian woman never leaves the house if her lips are not bright red enough to steal the heart of any dashing comrade — Greg), wrapped my favorite baboushka around my head, put on my warm felt boots and ran outside....

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re:
[info]mcnafferson
2003-02-27 03:00 pm UTC (link)
Hey! You should better look at what they write in the English-Russian dictionary:

babushka - русск.; сущ.; преим. амер. - головной платок; косынка. a voile scarf tied babushka-style — шарф-вуаль, завязанный на манер платка.




(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]bird_sva, 2003-03-21 02:22 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2003-03-21 07:50 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2003-03-23 04:11 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2003-03-25 11:13 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2003-05-25 02:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-06-21 10:55 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-08-26 09:59 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2003-02-16 09:54 pm UTC (link)
"...Then I asked her where I should buy meat, potatoes, toilet paper, toothpicks and gum. Do you know what she told me? She said that I should buy meat in “The Meat,” toothpicks in “The Toothpick” and gum in “The Gum” on Gogol' street . I found everything that I needed...."

where in the fuck did you find Gogol` street, The Toothpick and The Gum???? are you living in some deep-ass-country-side-on-Kamchatka.... go to Moscow and look around

I don`t see your point, man, what are you trying to do by publishing your bullshit tales

as building a wooden toilet in our apartment or making a casket for our great-grandmother who recently died of the plague. “I fuck your mother, you ugly-faces!” I screamed. “Leave this man alone! Has he not suffered enough? He has seen his comrades die! If you must kill someone, kill me instead.” And with these words, I waved my axe in the air. ---- where do you get this shit?!?!?

.... Ivan Panteleimonovich’s (Vanyusha’s) friends and I went back to my apartment to celebrate the meeting. We even brought the “victim” along so he could enjoy his last meal. After a traditional Russian celebration with vodka, blinis, and caviar, we danced to the joyful sounds of accordion.... --- Oh Lord!!!! Please do not write anything about russia and russian day-to-day life - yOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT IT... all what you write is COMPLETE BULLSHIT!!! Don`t confuse your american friends and GO FUCKING HOME!


(Reply to this)


[info]troiloff
2003-02-19 02:37 pm UTC (link)
Hi...
Well, wat can i say? Your site is nice and the info u post in your LJ is nice too.
Ppl already told u that everything u write is bullshit, so I wont say that.
Instead I would like to thank u! I thank u for writing this shit, cos I bet most of your readers are American. And by reading your texts they become even more stupid, disinformed and dumb. I mean, man, your ppl are stupid as logs. And U! My hero, U make them even thiker. Thanx!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


(Anonymous)
2003-03-19 01:10 pm UTC (link)
Well, wat can i say? Your site is nice and the info u post in your LJ is nice too.
You come off more intelligent with:
Well what can I say? Your site and the info you post in your LJ are nice.

Ppl already told u that everything u write is bullshit, so I wont say that.
Again:
People have already told you that everything you write is bullshit, so I won't say that.

Instead I would like to thank u! I thank u for writing this shit, cos I bet most of your readers are American. And by reading your texts they become even more stupid, disinformed and dumb. I mean, man, your ppl are stupid as logs. And U! My hero, U make them even thiker. Thanx!
Perhaps you should read over what you write in the future:
Instead, I would like to thank you! I thank you for writing this shit, because I bet most of your readers are American. And by reading your texts, they become even more stupid, misinformed and dumb. I mean, man, your people are as stupid as logs. And you, my hero, you make them even thicker. Thanks!

At least make us believe you're somewhat capable with the language before you insult the people, Russky.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

Re: - [info]troiloff, 2003-03-19 06:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2003-10-14 12:24 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2003-02-19 04:19 pm UTC (link)
Чувак!

Your site is awesome and hilarious!

Не слушай этих дятлов, они не секут фишку!

I especially liked the Dusya story. It so profound, yet so educational.

And the sign "Where is Estonia" is just great. I wish i had a t'shirt or a poster that says that.

(Reply to this)

It's just humor.
(Anonymous)
2003-03-17 08:02 pm UTC (link)
I'm surprised at you guys. Greg doesn't seem to be scoffing at us. Can't you guys feel a touch of irony? He just makes observations some of which are quite true and comments them in "texas yankee" style.
Agree that our traditions do look weird for any foreigner at first. But that's why Russia is very unlike to plenty of the world's faceless and monotonous countries. Take all those former British colonies like US, Canada, Australia etc. They are boring and faceless as hell! They speak same language, share same traditions, even think in the same way! They may be prosperous and rich but they are secondary cultures. And there's nothing you can do about it. You just cannot buy uniqueness.
So recall your Russian sense of humor and don't take everything so aggressively. We can joke about our country and remain proud of it. After all, being proud is about all we are left with ;-)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: It's just humor.
(Anonymous)
2003-03-19 01:15 pm UTC (link)
Canada and the US, former British colonies? Faceless?

Again, another example of the standard of Russian education. The term "education" used very loosely.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

Re: It's just humor. - (Anonymous), 2003-03-19 09:31 pm UTC
Re: It's just humor. - (Anonymous), 2004-02-14 01:28 pm UTC

[info]yucca
2003-03-19 05:41 pm UTC (link)
Greg, your site is absolutely hilarious! To me, it makes fun in the first place not of Russia, but of Western ignorance and condescending attitude towards Russians. Keep up your sense of humor!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

;)
[info]olegr
2003-03-20 03:02 am UTC (link)
That's exactly what I keep telling everyone. This guy is great

(Reply to this) (Parent)


(Anonymous)
2003-03-19 09:30 pm UTC (link)
One of the americans I know seriously thinks that humans and dinosaurs coexisted and that Americans landed on Mars a couple of years ago. Another one can't add 35 and 14 without a calculator. Others think that the US fought against Germany and the USSR in WWII and won. And so on... Most of them are university students. Do you want to keep discussing education standards?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


(Anonymous)
2003-10-14 01:21 pm UTC (link)
... humans and dinosaurs coexisted ....
- And who are you to say, it's not true?

.... without a calculator ....
- YOU wouldn't be able to add 35 and 14 if you had one since age 5.

..... discussing education standards ....
- Who says bears on the street interfere with high education standards?

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Respect ;)
[info]olegr
2003-03-20 03:00 am UTC (link)
I absolutely love what you're doing! I laughed my ass of reading your site.

Keep it up! 8))

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Respect ;)
(Anonymous)
2004-02-15 01:20 pm UTC (link)
I think the picture you show of yourself is phony. I bet you are really some dweeb boy.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Haven't you jacked off in Mavzoley yet? It's fun.
(Anonymous)
2003-03-20 08:04 am UTC (link)
I would deport such writer from Russia for abusing the nation.

Russia bears traditions of those living there their whole life, and it is beyond a foreign mind to embrace our way of life.

Do you happen to be an American? Well, then why not tickle your sick imagination with jokes on the current plight of atrocity Americans settle for the world today?

(Reply to this)


[info]ivanytch
2003-03-20 09:16 am UTC (link)
Пиздатый ты чувак, Макнефферсон!

(Reply to this)

What’s in a (Russian) Name?
[info]bird_sva
2003-03-21 02:17 am UTC (link)
Мил, человек,
Если уж собрались врать, то врите так, чтобы проверить ложь было бы трудно. А то стыдно, право, когда за руку можно схватить. Или фантазия ваша иссякла ? :-)) Я о статье про имена. Просветитесь на досуге, когда будете очередной бред замысливать

When you gonna to lie, rememmber that the lie have to be unverifiable. Read this, , when you'll busy with creating next article.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: What’s in a (Russian) Name?
(Anonymous)
2003-10-14 12:16 pm UTC (link)
Is your name Vanya, by any chance?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

Re: What’s in a (Russian) Name? - [info]bird_sva, 2003-10-14 12:33 pm UTC
Re: What’s in a (Russian) Name? - (Anonymous), 2003-10-15 09:48 am UTC
Re: What’s in a (Russian) Name? - [info]pashitos, 2003-12-09 02:10 am UTC
Re: What’s in a (Russian) Name? - (Anonymous), 2004-02-14 01:34 pm UTC
What’s in a (Russian) Name? - ATTN americans - (Anonymous), 2003-12-15 03:19 pm UTC

[info]jetfraer
2003-03-21 02:24 am UTC (link)
ROTFL
This is absolutely grand, please write more and post the news to your journal. Whoever you'd be, Russian or American, your site kicks ass :)

(Reply to this)


[info]klo537
2003-03-21 05:14 am UTC (link)

reading the comments: it is always sad to witness people engage in a herd-like behavior ... just like sports fans "we won!" when their team wins, and "those a-holes lost!" when it loses ...

(Reply to this)

Great!
[info]soonts
2003-03-22 08:42 am UTC (link)
   Your site is great!!!
   I laught for a long time reading it :-)))
   Of course, it's all make-up (moreover, whole the site is bullshit), but it's really funny!

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2003-03-25 03:52 am UTC (link)
I must say I just love your stories! Great sense of humour and very sharp too!
Well done!!!!!

(Reply to this)

This site ROCKS!
(Anonymous)
2003-04-03 02:16 am UTC (link)
A really great one. Those criticizing it for being untrue and stupid are absolutely dumb and have no sense of humor at all. I feel kinda ashamed of some of us russians. Can't laugh at yourself? Go fuck bears in subway!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: This site ROCKS!
(Anonymous)
2004-02-14 01:39 pm UTC (link)
Stupid Humor...

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

Re: This site ROCKS! - (Anonymous), 2005-02-18 04:15 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2003-04-07 03:12 am UTC (link)
Sorry, but these days one can buy just anything - from truffels to thousands of different liquers in Russia without standing in lines. Usually not more than none - three persons before you... In a big supermarket - maybe more, but - of course not a day to spend, sorry...
You must have never being to Moscow.
At least - not later than 1995.
Sergo the Russian
sergo@rin.ru

(Reply to this)


[info]nightnic
2003-04-08 02:23 am UTC (link)
You greatly suffer from lack of humor sense, my fellow compatriots. This, by the way would be a perfect topic for another [info]mcnafferson's post I'd read with pleasure.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re:
(Anonymous)
2004-02-14 01:44 pm UTC (link)
This Humor is boring.
Russians understand it really good, it's just not funny, it's bullshit.
Many Americans don't understand the humor, but believe the bullshit.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


(Anonymous)
2003-04-30 12:27 pm UTC (link)
Greg, твой сайт и сама его идея великолепены! Хотя больше всего мне нравятся комментарии : если каждый второй пишуший здесь реально так думает, то человечество обречено на вымирание. Очень понравился чел, распрягающий про английскую грамматику --- редкостный отморозок, старпёр, вылезший первый раз в интернет, IQ на уровне таракана(чуть выше пола)

(Reply to this) (Thread)


(Anonymous)
2004-08-06 06:04 am UTC (link)
Народ, это конечно смешно, но ведь америкосы всему верят

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-12-12 10:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]a_bronx, 2006-10-19 04:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2009-02-08 11:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]a_bronx, 2009-02-08 11:50 pm UTC
Still BULLSHIT
(Anonymous)
2003-05-24 06:11 pm UTC (link)
what`s wrong with you, russians? This idiot shits on you, and you just laugh... How can you say it`s funny?
I really don`t understand this

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Hmm... any better ideas there?
[info]mithgol
2003-06-20 09:38 am UTC (link)
I guess there's nothing worth feeling pissed off here... it's just like a barking dog. We just don't take it serious.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Re: Still BULLSHIT - (Anonymous), 2005-02-11 01:48 pm UTC
Re: Still BULLSHIT - (Anonymous), 2005-02-18 04:17 pm UTC

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